


Sometimes You Let Me In

by chippy8833



Category: Roswell New Mexico (TV 2019)
Genre: Angst and Smut, Fluff and Smut, M/M, Malex, Mostly Smut, Sexy Times, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-04
Updated: 2019-03-19
Packaged: 2019-10-22 03:48:56
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,392
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17655509
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chippy8833/pseuds/chippy8833
Summary: What happened the night Michael and Alex spent in Michael's trailer. Takes place immediately after episode 1x02.*Second chapter added!* Michael and Alex interact for the first time since their breakup in episode 1x03. More smut!





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This first chapter picks up immediately where episode 1x02 left off. Sexy times ensue. I wrote most of this before episode 1x03 aired, so please forgive any discrepancies with the show.

“Michael Guerin is kissing me!” The thought flashed through Alex’s mind as he laid on the built-in bed in Michael’s trailer, with Michael on top of him. God, he sounded like a giddy teenager. But, what the hell, he felt like a giddy teenager again. His heart was soaring. Michael kissed him almost frantically and Alex kissed back with just as much fervor, as if their lips and tongues would never be satisfied. The weight of Michael’s body on top of his was exciting, but also familiar and comforting somehow. Under Michael, Alex felt solid and safe. They kept kissing, panting for air. But who cared about breathing when you could be kissing Michael Guerin?

Alex reached up and grabbed fistfuls of Michael’s hair. He was a little bit obsessed with that unruly mop of brown curls. Michael groaned and Alex smiled against his lips. Michael started kissing his neck and he could feel his own heat radiating off his body. Everything was on fire. Michael slid a hand up his stomach, beneath his t-shirt and Alex gasped as his skin prickled under that touch.

Alex sat up, pushing Michael up as well. Michael clearly guessed what he was after as he took the bottom of Alex’s t-shirt and pulled it off over his arms and head. Then, with mind-boggling speed, Michael stood up, yanked his belt off, kicked off his shoes and had his jeans around his ankles, all within the span of about two seconds. For a moment, he just stood there, breathing heavily and Alex drank him in. Alex bit his lip as he stared at the bulge in Michael’s white briefs and the broad thighs protruding from them. It was absolutely the sexiest thing he had ever seen. Alex’s heart raced as Michael strode over to him, grabbed the top of his pants and started to pull them down. He leaned back on his elbows and lifted his hips, but as Michael roughly pulled his pants down further, he shot up reflexively, stretching out a hand. “Careful!”

Michael stopped immediately, remembering. They looked each other in the eye for a moment, and Alex found himself cursing internally, afraid that his stupid leg had fucked everything up. It was because of his own traitorous body that they had come to a crashing halt.

Michael crouched down and slowly untied Alex’s shoes. He slid them off along with his socks. Then Michael used the cuffs of Alex’s pants to gently pull them the rest of the way off. They both stared at Alex’s fully exposed prosthetic leg. He didn’t let many people see it. He was embarrassed of it. Michael looked at it for a long while, seemingly almost mesmerized by it. 

A million thoughts started racing through Alex’s mind. “He thinks it’s weird and ugly. He’s turned off by it. He doesn’t want to do this anymore. He doesn’t want me anymore.”

Michael looked up again, speaking hesitantly. “Do you want to take it off or keep it on?”

“Take it off,” Alex said quietly, reaching out to do so.

Michael stayed his hands. “Can I do it?”

Alex looked at him for a moment before nodding reluctantly.

“How?” Michael asked.

“There’s a release lever.” Alex showed him.

Michael pulled the lever, releasing the suction. He slid the prosthesis off and carefully laid it on what served as the trailer’s kitchen table. He walked back over and sat on the end of the small bed, Alex’s amputated leg between them. They both stared at it.

It had been a clean cut below Alex’s knee. His lower tibia had been shattered, unsalvageable. All that was left was the upper few inches of his lower leg, covered in a couple of strange, puckered scars where they had closed his skin and muscle around his bones.

Alex felt even more ashamed. Maybe it had been a mistake to take the prosthesis off. At least with it on, he had all the normal parts a human was supposed to have. Now he was deformed, a freak. Alex didn’t let many people see his prosthesis, and he normally didn’t let anyone see his actual leg. And now he was remembering why. He cursed again at his dumb leg for ruining the mood.

“Does it hurt?” Michael asked, “Wearing that, I mean,” he said, nodding towards the prosthesis.

Alex wasn’t sure how long Michael had been looking at him, his face that is, rather than his leg. “It chafes, but it’s usually not too bad if I remember to put lotion on it.”

Michael got up again and walked towards the other end of the trailer. Alex heard him rummaging around before he returned with a small bottle of hand lotion.

“May I?” Michael asked, sitting down again.

Alex looked at him unsure, but eventually he nodded. No one other than medical professionals had touched his amputated leg, certainly not in this way.

There were visible red marks that the prosthetic had left on his leg. Michael gently rubbed the lotion over them and Alex felt a small spark of arousal in his stomach. The touch wasn’t sexual, but brutally intimate. He never felt so raw and exposed.

“You’re a hero, you know,” Michael said, still massaging in the lotion.

Alex scoffed. “Getting my leg blown off doesn’t make me a hero.”

“You’re right.” Michael looked him in the eye. “You’re a hero because you’re kind and brave and good, and you did something to be proud of. I’ve done fuck-all with my life, but you made something of yourself and I’m proud of you.”

Alex knew that Michael was trying to cheer him up because he could tell that he was uncomfortable with this whole leg situation. It might have been working...a little bit. Alex smiled to himself.

Michael was trailing his fingers idly along Alex’s knee and what was left of his lower leg. It was a strange sensation that made Alex’s heart flutter. He didn’t want Michael to ever stop touching him.

“You know, it’s weird,” Alex said. “I can still feel it sometimes, like it’s still there. Like I never lost it.”

Michael looked up at him earnestly and took ahold of his hand. “Not a day went by over the last 10 years that I didn’t think about you.”

Alex smiled sadly even as his heart beat faster. “I told myself that you had forgotten about me. That you were long gone. Had moved away from Roswell. Had moved on from me.”

Michael shook his head. “I could never forget about you.”

“It made it only a little more bearable. ‘Cause I missed you every day.”

Michael’s coffee-brown eyes bore into Alex’s. They bore into his soul, shining with tears.

Michael suddenly pounced on him, grabbing his face and crashing their lips together into a hard kiss. They both fell back onto the bed. Alex didn’t even have time to respond before he felt Michael’s hand roughly grab his still half-hard cock through his black briefs. He wasn’t ready for it.

“Whoa, easy cowboy,” he said as he pushed Michael away and pried his hand off him. “Gentle.”

Michael sat back, closing his eyes and swallowing harshly. “I’m sorry,” he gulped out. “I’ve just been waiting for this for so long.”

“Me too,” Alex said. “So let’s enjoy every minute of it.”

Michael nodded. He carefully readjusted his position, holding onto Alex’s upper arms to steady himself as he moved. He ended up straddling Alex, his knees on either side of his hips and their cocks gently rubbing together through their underwear. It was just a slight, constant pressure, at least to start.

“Better?” Michael asked. Alex smiled and nodded. That subtle friction felt just right.

Alex ran his hands up Michael’s thighs, taking in his tight abs and toned pecs, and the exquisite hair trimming his stomach and chest. Michael’s body had changed considerably, but he was still the curly haired boy with the mischievous grin he had fallen in love with all those years ago. Michael slid his hands up Alex’s shoulders and towards his neck. He leaned down and rubbed his nose against Alex’s. Alex felt Michael’s breath on his lips and it took his own breath away. Finally, he brought their mouths together, their tongues meeting like pulsing ocean swells. Michael took his time, kissing him deeply. This was how Alex liked his foreplay, slow and sensual.

Alex’s hands found their way to Michael’s lower back, where he felt the curves of his muscles. Michael eased his torso down until he was laying on top of Alex, their bodies fully flush, chest to chest, stomach to stomach, groin to groin. Alex wrapped his arms around Michael’s back, hugging him to him. The way Michael covered him, he felt as if no one else could touch him. He felt Michael’s heart pounding against his chest, unless it was his own. He couldn’t be sure. Michael’s hands slid into Alex’s hair. Rather than grabbing it, Michael closed and opened his fingers rhythmically, as if he were massaging Alex’s head. Alex moaned. Michael still knew what he liked. 

Alex practically whimpered as Michael broke their kiss in order to apply his lips to Alex’s neck. Alex let out a shaky breath. Michael’s hand found one of Alex’s nipples and pinched it, though not too hard. Alex gasped. He didn’t like it rough, but there were exceptions, especially since Michael made it better by licking and kissing the nipple. Alex had to bite his bottom lip to keep from whimpering even more.

Michael began slowly working his way down Alex’s torso, trailing kisses. Alex felt his hot breath, his tongue, his nose, going lower and lower and lower. He threw his arms over his head and tightly clenched the pillow he found there, trying not to writhe too much under Michael’s ministrations. His entire body was tingling. Michael reached the top of Alex’s briefs. And then. Then he tilted his head down and let the tips of his curls caress Alex’s skin from his stomach up to his chest. Alex gasped, trembling. It was hard for him to comprehend the way his body reacted to Michael. He felt as if he wasn’t in control of his own body. There was an energy in Michael that drew Alex to him, and he couldn’t escape it.

Michael lifted his head, his curls falling to either side of his face, and he looked at Alex with heavy-lidded eyes. Alex had never wanted anything more in his life than this man. He reached his arms around Michael’s back and slid his fingers into his briefs, towards his ass.

“I’m ready now,” Alex said and he was surprised at how deep and husky his voice was.

Michael grinned at him. He leaned down to give him one last kiss before he stood from the bed. Alex propped himself up on his elbows so he could watch as Michael slowly slid his underwear off and kicked them aside. Michael just stood there for a minute, letting Alex look at him. His cock bobbed up towards his stomach, and Alex forgot how to breathe. He couldn’t stop staring. Everything about Michael’s body was gorgeous. Michael took a couple of steps towards him, reaching out his hands. When he hesitated, Alex nodded, and he gently pulled off Alex’s underwear. Alex’s erect cock sprang up and Michael let out a deep, guttural groan. Alex wasn’t even sure he was aware he had done it. He felt that pull between them more strongly than ever.

Michael dropped to his knees, his head in Alex’s lap. He grabbed the base of Alex’s cock and sucked the rest into his mouth. Alex moaned and fell back onto the bed. Michael’s mouth was so hot and wet. Alex lifted his head to see Michael’s lips working the length of his shaft. When Michael’s eyes met his, it was too much. He had to look away. He turned his gaze skywards as he moaned again.

Alex heard Michael gasp as he slid his mouth off his cock. He looked up to see Michael suck the length of his middle finger into his mouth and remove it again, glistening with saliva. Alex knew what was coming and he lifted his leg, his intact one. When Michael pushed his finger inside him, Alex gasped and arched his back. He thought he was seeing stars. Michael worked his digit in and out of that tight ring of muscle and it felt so good. With his free hand, he guided Alex’s cock back into his mouth. His mouth and finger started moving in time with each other. Alex didn’t know what his body was doing anymore. He again felt like he had no control over it. It was as if Michael was pulling every breath, every moan, every heartbeat out of it.

Finally his fingers found those beautiful curls. Alex clenched his fists hard in Michael’s hair, and Michael groaned in pleasure. Alex still knew what Michael liked too. Michael increased his tempo, keeping pace with Alex’s moans. He was so close now. It felt like water building up turbulently behind a dam, and the dam was ready to burst.

“I’m going to cum,” he rasped out in warning.

Michael slid his finger all the way in and sucked harder. Alex’s orgasm crashed over him like a tidal wave. He groaned loudly and his head was spinning. He felt as if he had been swept away and now he was absolutely wrecked.

When he was finished, Michael stood, gasping and struggling to swallow. It brought Alex back to shore. He sat up, finding his footing again. Michael’s lips were red and bleary. His chest was heaving. Beads of sweat shone on his temples and collarbone. Alex only saw a blur as Michael stroked himself.

“Hands off,” Alex said as he reached out to him. “It’s mine.”

Michael took a couple of steps towards him. Alex wrapped his arm around Michael’s lower back and pulled him even closer, so that Michael was standing between his thighs. Alex spit into his palm and resumed stroking where Michael had left off. He tried to slowly work his way up to Michael’s pace. Michael moaned, tossing his head back. His fingers softly kneaded Alex’s shoulders and neck. Alex rubbed his nose into Michael’s furry chest, feeling its rise and fall with every breath. His lips found Michael’s nipple. He kissed it before biting it gently between his teeth. Michael gasped. He ran his hands in long strokes through Alex’s hair, massaging his scalp.

Alex slid his face up, his chin resting on Michael’s breast. Michael looked down at him, his breaths coming out in short, quick moans. Alex increased the tempo, now stroking Michael as fast as physically possible. He felt Michael’s body shaking. He knew he was getting close. Michael hugged Alex to him, steadying himself. Alex felt Michael’s muscles tense as he climaxed. He moaned and gasped for breath. Alex kept stroking him until he was spent.

They collapsed onto the bed together. At first, Michael was laying half on top of Alex, but then he slid to Alex’s side, wrapping one arm around his chest and snuggling his face into the space between his shoulder and the bed. They laid there for several minutes, their heart and breathing rates returning to normal. Alex smiled to himself and lazily stroked the arm Michael had draped over his chest. He thought about how he never wanted to leave Roswell again, and how relieved he was that Michael was staying too.

“Guerin?” Alex said quietly.

“Hm?” Michael didn’t look up.

“I love you,” Alex said. He felt Michael grip him tighter and bury his face deeper into his side. Alex laughed a little. “What? You’re not going to say it back?” Alex asked, only half-jokingly. He thought he heard Michael sniffle.

“Hey,” he said more seriously, shaking Michael’s arm. “Guerin, look at me.”

Michael raised his head. His eyes were bleary with tears.

“Why are you crying?” Alex was genuinely concerned.

Michael sniffled again. “I feel like I’ve been holding my breath for the last 10 years. And now I can finally breathe again. I can’t live without you.”

Alex gently wiped away the tears that had spilled onto Michael’s cheeks. “I’m not going anywhere,” he said.

He pulled Michael back down and they snuggled together again. Alex meant what he said. He planned to spend the rest of his life in Michael Guerin’s arms. There was no other place he’d rather be.


	2. I Wondered if I Could Come Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Michael and Alex interact for the first time after their breakup in episode 1x03.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter takes place sometime after episode 1x03 and includes details from episode 1x06. I've been writing this while the episodes have continued to air, so please forgive any discrepancies with the show. This chapter features angst and smut. Mostly smut though!

Alex shook his head to himself as he gripped the steering wheel of his car with one hand, driving down town. He didn’t know why he was doing this. Actually, he did.

He had overheard his dad mention to one of his brothers that Michael Guerin had yet again gotten himself thrown into the drunk tank. Third time this week. Before Alex even thought about what he was doing, he snuck off to, what? Go rescue him? More like clean up his mess. Alex had broken up with Michael because he didn’t approve of who Michael had become, but that didn’t mean he didn’t care about him.

But really, Alex was going to get Michael because he felt guilty. He knew this was his fault. He knew that calling it off with Michael was what drove him to drink himself stupid and get into bar fights every other night. And this wasn’t the first time.

When he and Michael were in high school, Michael was so fucking smart, despite his shitty home-life in the foster care system. He was going places. He was going to change the world. Alex smiled a little at the memory. And then Alex had broken up with Michael, putting an end to their secret love affair, before going to war. He hadn’t kept in touch with Michael, figuring a clean break would be easier. But he heard stories here and there about the disaster Michael had become in his absence. And Alex couldn’t help but feel responsible for that disaster. He didn’t want to admit it, but deep down he knew that he was the reason Michael was throwing his life away. And it was happening all over again.

Alex had no idea how he could fix this, how he could make up for taking Michael’s light away from the world all those years ago, but if there was something he could do to reignite that light, he would do it. At the very least, he wanted to let Michael know that he wasn’t alone.

And so here he was driving through town on the dark, deserted streets at 9:21pm on a Wednesday. He parked in the largely empty lot outside the sheriff’s department and made his way inside. As soon as he hobbled into the room, his eyes landed on Michael slumped on the bench within the jail cell. Alex swore he saw a tiny look of surprise flit across Michael’s face before it was replaced with a sad, sardonic grin.

“Come to rescue me, private?” Michael asked bitterly. “Always the hero.”

Alex set his mouth in a disapproving line. He saw how Michael’s eyes drooped and his hair was coarse and disheveled. There was a cut on his cheek, along with a little dried blood. He noticed that a drop of the blood had stained his white t-shirt beneath his open flannel. Alex turned to the deputy at the desk.

“I’m here to collect Michael Guerin,” he said. Michael’s grin widened.

After the paperwork had been filled out, the deputy unlocked the cell and let Michael out. As they were getting ready to leave, Michael leaned into Alex’s ear and said quietly, suggestively, “What are you going to do with me, private?”

Alex got a whiff of beer and something else, something acidic. “How about we start with getting you cleaned up and sobered up?” he said almost angrily, staring into Michael’s slightly unfocused eyes. He was not in the mood for Michael’s innuendos. Michael smiled even as his face fell.

The tension hung heavy as they got in Alex’s car and started driving. It felt like broken glass. With his elbow pressing against the window, Michael rested his chin on his forearm and stared out at the darkness. Alex kept both hands on the wheel and looked straight ahead. After a long, strained silence, Michael spoke.

“Where are we going?”

“My place,” Alex said. “I figured you could do with a proper shower.”

“Why are you doing this?” Michael asked, finally turning to look at Alex.

Alex didn’t return the look. “Maybe because I’m tired of watching you throw your life away.”

“Why do you care what I do with my life?” Michael demanded. There were razors in his words.

Alex sighed in frustration. “Because you’re my friend.”

Michael scoffed. “Friend.” He spat the word out as if it was something distasteful.

“I still care about you,” Alex insisted.

Michael shook his head. “You don’t care about me. You’re doing this to assuage your own guilt.”

Alex suddenly angered at the fact that Michael could see through all his walls. “You’re right,” he snapped back. “I should stop caring.”

He finally twisted his head to glare at Michael. They held each other’s gaze for a long moment before Michael turned away, resuming his position staring out the window. Alex returned his attention to the road. They drove the rest of the way to Alex’s cabin in jagged silence.

They still didn’t speak when Alex pulled up to his secluded home. Michael followed him inside, almost like a scolded puppy trailing its owner. Alex headed straight for his linen closet and pulled out a clean bath towel.

“Here,” he said, offering it to Michael. “Feel free to use my body wash and shampoo.”

Michael stared down dumbly at the towel for a moment before accepting it. “Thank you,” he said.

Alex nodded once. He was struck by how forlorn Michael looked, all the spark and mischief gone from him. Michael slowly turned and headed towards the bathroom. Alex walked into his bedroom and sat heavily on the bed. He raked his hand through his hair and sighed deeply. He was suddenly physically and emotionally exhausted. He carefully leaned his crutch against his nightstand and rested his hands on his thighs.

Alex sat like that for several minutes. A jumble of thoughts, mostly about Michael, skirted the edges of his mind, but he wouldn’t let any one thought in to focus on it. He didn’t have the emotional energy. Eventually, Alex shook his head, as if to shake the thoughts away. He began his nighttime routine by removing his prosthetic leg and carefully storing it within easy reach from the bed. He changed into a t-shirt and a pair of boxers. He also thought to pull out some clothes for Michael to wear. He sat on the bed again and applied lotion to his scarred limb. He heard the shower turn off. Alex took a deep breath, steeling himself and trying not to imagine what might come next.

Michael emerged from the bathroom wearing only the towel that Alex had given him around his waist. The steam seemed to radiate off his body. Alex’s eyes immediately took in his shiny, damp curls before descending to his pecs and stomach, framed with hair that looked darker than usual due to the wetness. The light showed off every curve of Micheal’s abs and that V of muscle leading down behind the towel.  
Alex licked his lips before he realized what he was doing and his eyes darted up to Michael’s. They were hard and unreadable. Alex cursed himself internally because he knew that Michael had seen everything.

Without rising from the bed, Alex held out the clothing he had picked for Michael. “Here,” he said. Michael slowly accepted them. “I’m tired,” Alex continued. “I’m going to bed. I hope you don’t mind the couch?”

Michael’s hand fell to his side, still holding the clothes. “Why am I here?” he asked sternly. Alex noted that his fire had returned, the booze having seemingly worn off.

Alex shook his head. “I’m too tired for this right now, Guerin. Let’s talk in the morning.”

“Stop treating me like a dog!” Michael said, his voice rising. “You can’t just play with me when it suits you, and then stick me in a kennel and ignore me when it doesn’t. My feelings matter in this relationship too, and I deserve to know why you’ve brought me here.”

Alex dropped his head into both hands and sighed. “Fine,” he said, looking up again. “We’ll do this now, but can you please put some clothes on first?”

Michael set his mouth in a line. Without breaking eye contact, he let the towel at his waist slide to the floor. Alex could only force himself to hold his gaze for a moment before he turned his head away.

After a few seconds, Michael said irritably, “Better?”

Alex looked up to see him dressed, standing with outstretched hands. It wasn’t really better because Michael still looked damn sexy in one of his t-shirts and a pair of his sweatpants that were tight enough to show the outline of his thighs.

Alex sighed. “Sit down,” he said resignedly.

Michael did so, hesitantly. He sat on the bed next to Alex, leaving a generous space between them.

Alex took a deep breath. He didn’t know what he was going to say until the words were leaving his lips. “When I heard you were in the drunk tank again, I felt like I had to do something. I thought I could, I don’t know, help in some way. I thought I could make things better.”

Michael watched him. “Because you felt bad about how things ended?” he asked gently. “Because you regretted it?”

Alex looked down at the floor. “Maybe,” he said quietly.

“You thought you could save me from myself?” Michael went on.

“Someone has to,” Alex said, looking up at him and finding those deep brown eyes.

Michael shook his head and smiled sadly. “You can’t fix everyone, Alex. You should focus on yourself and stop worrying about everyone else.”

Alex furrowed his brow. “I’m fine,” he said. “I’m not the one who needs rescuing.”

“Really?” Michael asked as his eyebrows climbed towards his forehead. “’Cause from where I’m standing, you’re still living under your dad’s thumb.”

Alex shook his head. “It was my decision to break up with you, not his,” he said with a quiet edge.

“I saw you talking with him at the drive-in,” Michael said. “You can’t tell me he didn’t influence that decision.”

Alex looked down at the floor again. He heard what Michael was saying, but he didn’t want to listen.

Michael’s words were gentle when he spoke again. “Look Alex, there’s the man your dad wants you to be and there’s the man that you are. And those two will never be the same. No matter what you do, you will never be good enough for him.”

Alex searched Michael’s eyes imploringly, as if to ask if he really believed that, even though Alex knew in his heart that it was true.

“You joined the Air Force and went to war to please him,” Michael continued. “And look what it got you.” He looked pointedly down at Alex’s leg, amputated just below the knee. Alex stared at it as well, as a jumble of memories flashed through his mind: an explosion, choking dust, the sun burning his eyes. “You could have died,” Michael said quietly. 

Alex swore his voice broke on the last word. He looked up at Michael again, tears springing to his own eyes.

“Trying to be who your dad wants you to be, is only hurting yourself,” Michael went on. “And he still doesn’t love you.”

Alex let out a gasp as a sob welled up inside him. He couldn’t control the tears anymore and they spilled down his cheeks.

“Screw him,” Michael said angrily. “You don’t need him.”

“He’s my dad,” Alex said pathetically. He saw the sheen of tears in Michael’s eyes as well.

“I’ve never had a real dad,” Michael said. “But I’d rather have no dad at all than an asshole like yours. Forget about him and his bullshit expectations.”

Alex shook his head. He slowly took Michael’s left hand and softly ran his thumb over the scarred, puckered skin. “I’m not the only one he’s hurt when I don’t do what he wants.”

Michael’s nostrils flared. “That wasn’t your fault,” he said through gritted teeth. “If he lays a finger on you again, I’ll kill him.”

Alex searched Michael’s eyes. He was serious. “You can’t do that, Guerin. I won’t let you go to jail because of him.”

“Not because of him,” Michael said.

Alex felt a pang in his chest as he realized just what Michael was willing to do for him. The feeling was somewhere between love and pain and sadness. He sniffled; he was still crying. Michael reached out his free hand and very gently wiped the tears from Alex’s cheeks. Alex’s skin warmed. He felt an ache deep in his bones. He realized he had been longing for that touch.

“At the reunion,” Michael continued, “you said that what you want doesn’t matter.” He squeezed Alex’s hand still in his. “But it’s the only thing that matters. You deserve to be happy, Alex. What will make you happy?”

Alex looked into Michael’s light brown eyes, and he saw the boy he had fallen in love with when he was 17. He remembered their first kiss in the museum, and he wanted to live in that moment forever. That was his happy place.

Alex suddenly lunged forward, unable to stand the distance between them any longer. He latched onto the back of Michael’s neck with his free hand and crashed their lips together. Michael’s tongue found his right away, as if he had just been waiting for that moment. Alex felt Michael’s hand grabbing at his hair. They kissed hungrily, desperately. Alex gripped Michael’s neck harder. It was as if they couldn’t get close enough, as if they had to get inside each other.

They finally had to come up for air. They pulled apart, Michael gasping, not in surprise exactly, but seemingly in release of something caged in for a long time. They still held onto each other as Michael searched Alex’s eyes.

“Do you want to do this again?” Michael asked.

Alex took a breath. “I want to give us another chance,” he said. “But I want to do it differently this time. I’m done hiding. I’m done trying to please other people.”

The corners of Michael’s lips quirked upwards briefly, before he looked serious again. “Are you sure this is what you want?” he asked.

Alex smiled. “Absolutely sure,” he said. “You’re the only thing I’ve ever wanted.”

Michael smiled back at him. “Good,” he said as he brought their lips together again. They kissed passionately but less savagely this time. No longer desperate because they were certain, solid.

Alex smelled his body wash as Michael’s lips captured his own and released them. Michael’s curls were still damp as Alex ran his hand through them, occasionally grasping a fistful. Alex moaned when Michael’s tongue teased his. He wanted more and it was just about driving him wild. The blood pumping erratically through his veins felt like it was making his entire body pulsate.

Alex found the hem of his own shirt that Michael was wearing and tugged it off over his head, making those beautiful curls bounce. He let out a ragged breath as he stroked his hands up Michael’s pecs, enjoying the feeling of chest hair against his palms and the burning heat of Michael’s skin. He wanted to touch every inch of it.

“Take this off,” Michael whispered as he pulled Alex’s t-shirt off and discarded it on the floor. He exhaled heavily as he ran his hands up Alex’s shoulders and took ahold of the back of his neck. He closed his eyes and rested his forehead against Alex’s, both of them just trying to catch their breath for a moment.

Eventually, Michael pulled his head away. “Lay down,” he said in a low voice, looking into Alex’s eyes.

Alex slid back, readjusting to get his legs on the bed. Michael straddled him, his thighs stretching his sweatpants tight. Alex loved the feeling of Michael’s legs sinking the mattress on either side of him. It sent an electric shock to his heart. Michael crawled up Alex’s body until they were flush, until he could dip his down and bring his lips to Alex’s again.

Alex giggled as he grabbed Michael’s face and kissed him. He was so deliriously happy in that moment that he wanted to laugh and cry all at once. Michael’s curls caressed his forehead. Their tongues found each other once more. But it wasn’t for long, as Michael broke their kiss to trail his lips down Alex’s neck, finding a soft spot to gently suck on. Alex lightly scratched his nails down Michael’s back, and Michael gasped into the hollow of his collarbone. Alex let his hands drift to Michael’s ass, pushing his sweatpants down as they went.

Michael suddenly sprang up, as if he had to tear himself away with great effort. He practically stumbled over himself in his rush to get Alex’s borrowed sweatpants off. Michael’s chest heaved as he stood naked before Alex, and Alex couldn’t help but grin as he watched him. With little ceremony, Michael leaned down and shimmied Alex’s boxers off, being careful of his amputated leg. Both of their cocks were red and already leaking.

Michael climbed back on top of Alex, seemingly desperate to find Alex’s lips again. They kissed deeply. The heat pouring off Michael’s body made Alex’s feel even hotter. Alex grabbed at Michael’s back, anywhere he could find purchase. Michael’s hand was on his chest, his neck, his face, in his hair. Michael kissed down Alex’s neck and then brushed his lips against his ear. In a deep, guttural voice he said, “Turn over.”

Alex felt a jolt of fresh arousal in his stomach, a spreading, liquid heat. He dropped open his mouth in mock scandalization, but it quickly turned into a grin as he looked up at Michael from under his lashes. Michael flashed his cocksure smirk at him beneath bedroom eyes. He unstraddled Alex so that both knees were to one side of Alex’s hips, giving Alex more freedom of movement. Alex swiveled his body until he was laying on his stomach with both arms folded and tucked to the sides of his chest.

Michael leaned down and whispered in his ear, “On your knees.”

Alex immediately raised himself until he was on his hands and knees. His whole body was shuddering with arousal. He was panting from it. Michael lightly touched his fingers to Alex’s spine between his shoulders. Alex shivered as Michael softly stroked them down the length of his back, trailing kisses in their wake. Alex exhaled shakily when Michael’s fingers and then his lips touched his skin just above the crack of his ass. He heard Michael shuffling and he looked over his shoulder to see that Michael had now positioned himself directly behind him, also on his hands and knees. Michael leaned forward and licked Alex’s left ass cheek before softly running his teeth over the spot, closing them together as if he were going to take a bite, but not actually trapping any flesh in between. He did the same to Alex’s right cheek. Alex’s breath caught in his chest, like there was a bird trapped inside his ribcage trying to get out. Michael reached out and ran his palms up Alex’s ass cheeks, grabbing a handful of each. Alex gasped when he felt Michael spread them apart, tugging at the puckered skin of his asshole. And then Michael started licking, gently running the flat of his tongue over the surface of Alex’s hole. Alex squeezed his eyes shut as this was almost unbearable. He was impossibly hard, his swollen cock leaking pre-cum onto his bedspread.

Alex felt Michael’s hot breath on his asshole as he continued lapping at it, while massaging Alex’s ass cheeks with his hands. Soon Michael started carefully working the tip of his tongue in, at first just inside the outermost ring of muscle, but eventually going deeper.

“Fuck,” Alex gasped out quietly. He could feel sweat forming on his back, at his hairline and in his armpits. It felt like his entire body was consumed in liquid fire.

Alex’s asshole was still tight, but Michael kept at it, repeatedly pushing his tongue inside and pulling it back out again. Alex felt Michael’s nose pressing into the top of his ass crack, and he heard him panting and moaning into his hole as he worked his tongue in and out. Slowly, Alex felt his asshole starting to open up, the muscles relaxing and allowing more and more of Michael’s tongue inside. But Michael didn’t stop. He continued fervently tonguing Alex’s hole, making sure it was good and open.

Alex felt Michael’s saliva dripping down between his legs. He was breathing so rapidly that he felt light-headed. His arms and legs started trembling, as if they were about to give out beneath him.

“Guerin,” Alex managed to gulp out, “I’m ready. Please.”

Michael gave Alex’s ass cheeks one last squeeze while sticking his tongue as far inside Alex’s hole as he could manage, before pulling out again with a loud smack of his lips. Alex moaned, barely keeping himself from collapsing onto the bed. Michael started crawling back up towards Alex. He grabbed Alex’s hips with both hands to steady himself, and then, because Michael Guerin is a bastard, he tipped his head and ran his curls up the entire length of Alex’s back. Alex gasped as a violent shiver ran up his spine.

Michael leaned into his ear and whispered, “Lay down.”

Alex immediately flopped onto the bed on his stomach.

“Not like that,” Michael said, with a hint of a laugh in his words as he gently took Alex’s shoulder and encouraged him to turn over.

Alex swiveled his body until he was on his back and Michael was over him with his curls falling around and framing his face. He couldn’t resist taking Michael’s face in both hands and pulling him in until their noses touched. Alex closed his eyes and Michael smiled.

“Condom?” Michael asked.

Alex released him. “Nightstand,” he said, looking over to it.

Michael reached across Alex’s body to open the nightstand’s drawer. From it he procured a condom as well as a bottle of lubricant.

Alex felt a sudden pang of guilt and shame for keeping condoms in his bedroom and what Michael would make of it.

Michael must have read something in his expression because he said, reassuringly, “You’re gorgeous.”

Alex smiled up at Michael, who still knew him so well. He gently took hold of Michael’s face again, running his thumbs along his cheeks. He noticed the small cut below Michael’s eye, a remnant from a bar fight earlier tonight. Alex could barely remember this detail; it seemed like a lifetime ago. He ran his thumb along the puckered scar as well. Alex took a good look at Michael’s face. His lips were red and swollen and his mouth and chin were shining with saliva, a reminder of what Michael had just done to him. Alex thought he looked absolutely beautiful and he wanted him more than ever, more than even in high school.

“Fuck me,” Alex rasped out.

Michael grinned at him before leaning down to kiss him on the lips, a soft, lingering touch. Alex breathed him in; he smelled like sex. 

He let go of Michael, who crawled back to position himself behind Alex again. Alex propped himself up on one elbow. He chewed his thumbnail as he watched Michael tear open the condom and roll it onto his cock. His heart tripped in keen anticipation as Michael applied a generous amount of lubricant to his sheathed member. He wiped the excess off onto Alex’s asshole, still wet with his saliva. Alex gasped at the touch.

Michael leaned forward and grabbed the extra pillow that wasn’t currently supporting Alex’s head.

“Hips up,” he said.

Alex used mostly his intact leg to lift his butt so Michael could place the pillow underneath it. When he was finished, Michael placed both hands on the bed on either side of Alex’s hips.

“You ready?” he asked.

Alex nodded eagerly, having no words at the moment. He wrapped his legs around Michael’s lower back. Michael adjusted himself into position, pressing the tip of his cock against Alex’s still gaping hole. He slowly pushed in and Alex’s asshole swallowed the entire length of his dick all at once.

Alex groaned, grabbing at Michael’s arms.

“Fuck!” Michael exclaimed, falling forward. “Sorry! Did I hurt you?”

“No no no,” Alex said, breathlessly. “No, it feels good.” And it did. Michael’s cock stretching and filling his hole was making his head spin. But mostly it felt incredible because Michael had already hit upon his prostate. Alex grasped Michael’s shoulders as Michael fully propped himself back up on his arms. “Keep going,” Alex said, bucking his hips a little in encouragement.

Michael moaned as he slowly pulled his cock out to the tip and pushed it back in again. Alex squeezed his eyes shut, tears leaking from the corners, not because it hurt, but because the sensations were so intense.

“Harder,” Alex begged. He desperately wanted Michael’s cock pounding his prostate.

Michael’s voice came out shaky and strained when he said, “I’m not gonna last long.”

“Me neither,” Alex responded, looking down at his hard cock flush against his body, pre-cum trickling onto his stomach.

Michael increased his pace, moaning with every thrust and causing Alex to answer in kind. Alex used his legs, (mostly his intact one) to pull Michael in even more. Michael’s arms started trembling and soon he collapsed with a gasp, no longer able to support his weight. He kept thrusting, their entire bodies now skin-to-skin.

Alex clawed at Michael’s shoulder with one hand and he sank the other into Michael’s hair, clenching those beautiful curls. Michael moaned and panted into Alex’s chest, sweat dampening his skin. He stroked Alex’s cock, keeping time with the rhythm of his hips. Alex’s moans increased in pitch and cadence. His grip on Michael tightened. Michael hitting his prostate was sending sparks though Alex’s body, and Michael’s hand was about to pull his orgasm out of him.

Alex squeezed his eyes shut again and he cried out as he came, his ejaculate streaking across his chest and abdomen. Alex’s asshole convulsed around Michael’s cock and his legs clenched Michael’s body to his own like a vise. Michael came almost immediately after, a groan bursting out of him from deep within. As his orgasm ebbed, his body spasmed before finally becoming still. Both their chests heaved as they struggled to catch their breaths.

Michael leaned forward and slowly started licking Alex’s cum off his body, lapping and trailing his tongue from his stomach up to his nipple. Alex moaned, still attempting to recover. He kept his hand in Michael’s hair, gently massaging his scalp.

When Michael finished, he settled at Alex’s side, their legs intertwined and his arm around Alex’s waist. They cuddled like that for a little while as they laid in the afterglow.

Eventually Alex said softly, “Guerin?”

“Shhh,” Michael shushed him gently. “Let’s not promise tomorrow. Let’s just be in this moment.”

Alex wasn’t sure how Michael knew that he had wanted to tell him that this time he would be braver, stronger, freer. That he would follow his heart and never let anything get in the way of that again. But maybe Michael was right. All that mattered now was this moment. And Alex knew that in this moment he was happier than he’d been in a long time. Maybe since he was 17 years old, in the back room of the emporium, getting kissed by Michael Guerin.


End file.
